Pork Panalo

When I was a kid I wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. Several years, pounds, and brittle joints later I realized that wasn't going to happen.

Here's one kid who kept his eye on the ball--and for that alone mega-to-the-max idol ko siya.

Photo and wagi placard by Jason Drilon.

Chef Sharwin Tee, it was a joy to see you make your childhood dream come true.

Photos by Aimee Apolinario

Papa J, your signs ROCKED!

Because I want to keep watching this until I'm old and gray...

...or (knock on wood) the Internet crashes.

Foxy Ladies and Stud Muffins and Bay's Angels.
Knee pads and Coleman/Igloo water jugs and Jansport/Eastpak backpacks.
Bars vs. counts. Balong malalim. Come out and play. Another one bites the dust. Free your mind. My Sharona. Are you gonna go my way?

With you ghels and boyz, ALWAYS.

TTFN, Gabby Gregory.

As I write this blog entry,
The Supernatural Soundtrack is playing here in the apartment, and
Gabby Gregory is drinking SMB Pale Pilsen while waiting for her flight.

How fitting.

Denial is the only stage! But we love you and wish you well!

As I get ready to fall off the calendar...

...I would like to thank The Dude Upstairs for the last thirty years of my life.


Thanks a bunch for my family.
The tribe is small; the hunters and the gatherers have strong opinions (that sometimes come with quick tempers); but I wouldn't have the Band of Javiers any other way.

My first birthday party (October 1979)

Thanks a bunch for my friends.

Old and new; near and far; cyber and fleshy--you have all made your mark on me, and wherever you are in this world I carry you with me. I am honored to see (well, see photos of) your children grow; to witness your strength and grace as you go after your dreams; to talk and laugh about the little things that make life so cool.

Photo from sxc.hu

Thanks a bunch for this body...
...and all the things I get to do because of it. Walk around the world. Do the dishes after chopping up garlic and onions. Fill my lungs with breath, with each sun salutation and icky sit-up. Allergies, stretch marks and scars, rickety knees and bizarre tan lines--this body is my body is my body and because of all it has done for me and continues to do for me it is beautiful.

Chambord, 2008.

Thanks a bunch for this soul...
...and the things she lets me see and hear and feel. And know and learn and love. And I hope I do right by you, Little Soul.

Greece, 2006.

Thanks a bunch for this heart.

You'll be given love
you'll be taken care of
you'll be given love
you have to trust it

Maybe not from the sources
you have poured yours

Maybe not from the directions
you are staring at

Trust your head around
it's all around you
all is full of love
all around you

All is full of love : you just ain't receiving
All is full of love : your phone is off the hook
All is full of love : your doors are all shut

All is full of love

-Bjork

My Productive Weekend (How un-Camille)

Saturday morning:
Beautiful blue skies for the Balangay launch. Syd joined me (thank you, Syd). He was armed with his DSLR, I had my new weapon of choice: a tiny notebook and pen (I lahvet).

Success! The balangay hits the water.

Sunday morning:
Armed with the usual yoga and the occasional P90X cardio or Jane Fonda aerobics video, I jogged/walked/hyperventilated my way down 5 kilometers of UP Diliman's tree-lined roads last Sunday, and lived to tell about it.

Camille "When oh when will this end" Javier

Winner moments:

1) Checking out all the senior citizens who could run for longer stretches than yours truly. Idol!
2) Once in a while a bunch of slim, long-legged men would fly past me. 1 Camille Hakbang = 3 Serious 10K Runner Hakbang. I heard them coming like a herd of dinosaurs in Jurassic Park.
3) The wonderful (but short-lived) quiet moments when it was just me, the road, and the trees. And then I'd die a little death before slowing down to a walk.

Many thanks to Syd for waking up early for the second day in a row to take photos :)

Hello, 2009.

On different sites, this quote is credited to three different dudes. But whoever really said it, Mabuhay ka. Thank you for this happy 4:00a.m.-must-make-deadline-or-die-pero-sige-break-muna thought. (And I heart this Jane Austen font!)

some things never change.

And I'm so glad these guys don't.
Isang tulak ka lang!

a shaft of light

These are days you'll remember.
Never before and never since, I promise, will the whole world be warm as this.
And as you feel it you'll know it's true that you are blessed and lucky.
It's true that you are touched by something that will grow and bloom in you.

Lyrics stolen from 10,000 Maniacs. Pictures stolen from Romvlvs.

yuletide greetings!

hee-hee. kidding aside, though, this christmas --

i wish all near and dear to me (whether we are continents or highways apart) peace (in the brain and relationships), love, warm fuzzy thoughts, and the occasional endorphin kick.

i send a little prayer to the Big Boss in the Sky for all the people i see everyday but don't know--

the Hari ng TODA who, upon seeing me walking from the MRT, always shouts my destination to the troops;

the lola down the street who waters her super-taba plants every morning;

the woman in ortigas station who used beg, but is now selling candy and cigarettes;

all the taxi drivers who get me home safely;

and all the lolas who make tambay outside the ABS-CBN studios (why, i have no idea).

MERRY CHRISTMAS, EVERYBODY!

cyberhugs to all :)

reunited, and it feels so good...

with bill in boston (turista!).

with carlotta in san francisco(double chins be damned!).

with mia in cincinnati (the shutterbugs).

with claire in boston (it's black, it's white...)

back home.

let's see if i can get this right.
after (in chronological order)

10 airports:
NAIA, narita, SFO, LAX, las vegas, columbus, dayton, atlanta, la guardia and JFK

5 states:
california, ohio, kentucky (for half a day), new york and massachusetts

8 residences:
carla's tita lina, carla's home, cousin rica's home, chapman university, mia's brother's home, mia's home, bill's home, arv & claire's home

i am finally back home.
cybs and i spent the whole day in DEFCON 1 mode, thanks to hydro-crises (overflowing water dispenser, flooded bathroom), so we cleaned house, vacuum and all. it is a joy to be back at lungga version 2.0.

the fact that i was on vacation makes the stress of my job even more apparent. i'm amazed that i have survived for so long.

to distract myself from that disturbing reality, here are a few random thoughts on/moments in the trip:

playing with carla’s son, buster.
i intentionally didn't go near him that much on the first day, since a negative 1st impression would seriously screw up the trip. information such as the whereabouts of his pacifier, baby food, bib, and "break in case of emergency" item (a fortune cookie from panda express) was vital to success and happiness…and made me think that a) apart from not knowing how to cook, i could probably make a good yaya; and b) contrary to my greatest fears, i just might make a pretty okay parent. i know carla and zandro are well on their way to being egg-zelent ones.

my first AMTRAK and bus by myself.
i truly believe that the driver thought i was a kid. “put your bags in there, okay? can i see your ticket? oh, okay, i’ll tell you when to get off, okay?” hehehe.

restrooms.
having tissue, soap and paper towels in every banyo—from restaurants to gas stations—is BLISS.
i am NOT a fan of The Automatic Flush. i’d like to be prepared both mentally and physically before anything threatens my behind.

getting carded.
in a casino: security thought i was 18. that’s a vast improvement from 12.
by the bartenders and cashiers when purchasing alcohol: the double take is quite amusing.

cousins.
the coolness of hitting a certain age, you’re done playing catch up and you discover you’re both pretty cool. and her son is, too.

precious airport moment #1.
am smoking at las vegas airport. a small chinito with super slicked back hair catches my eye as he walks in. he sits next to me and says, “kamusta na?” i start laughing. “winston lights ang yosi mo, sigurado pinoy ka.” i laugh even harder.

precious airport moment #2.
before boarding at las vegas i text mia am en route. an old man sitting next to me seems mesmerized.
“excuse me, i couldn’t help but notice, but were you texting?”
“yes.”
“how do you do that? there are only 9 keys, how about the other letters.”
so i show him.

soya in cincy.
too little time... :)

beautiful boston.
new york’s #1 spot in my heart just might be in danger (or maybe it’s just that funky scent in the summer air)
running to meet claire while trying not to spill my coffee.
walking into the boston common and getting the feeling that ellen olenska was there with papa daniel in the age of innocence (later confirmed when i got back to manila)
seeing the joy and love of newlyweds. :)

fun bill.
hanging out at a park for coffee and good conversation, brand-new maleta in tow.
the best manhattan view ever.

memory lane and beyond.

foxy ladies, stud muffins and effersons:
do you remember--

- doing the leapfrog as a stunt, with joey's crazy dance at the end?
- cherry's "jackpot!"
- "here now, gone tomorrow, seniors forever?"
- making pompoms and big things to punch pompoms through to form J?
- bay and alf pretending to be cheerleaders?
- teeny and maan wearing volleyball kneepads because they bruised so easily?
- bay playing "far behind" during breaks? sigh.
- gusto kong mag-swimming?
- i need you tonight?
- i just can't get enough?
- come out and play?
- are you gonna go my way?

(these are the things that come into focus when foxy ladies #1 & #2 take a mental stroll)

...wherever and whenever you are in this world, i think of you and hug you tight.

* * *

spent some time in mia's office today, and got to play with this adorable kid named lilian. row, row, row your boat was stuck in my head for a little bit. also a lot of fuzzy happy thoughts.

play dough ROCKS!

road trip

before going up north for some post-noche buena inuman i drove around alabang--and i realized that the reason why (apart from the crap-now-i'll-have-to-buy-P100-coffee-to-smoke-in-peace moments) going home to alabang saddens me is because my, ahem, province (ateneo 96: "you live in alabang? diba sa may bundok na yun?") has come to mean the absence of people for me.

de la salle zobel, university ave - still road hump-ful, but hardly recognizable (hi-tech na ang facade).

house in ma. cristina, home of fellow ex-gymnast - dark. and then i think, oh, she and her hubby are playing with their new son, continents away.

carpool house number 1. carpool house number 2.

and the house i grew up in, that we cartwheeled and had birthdays in, where we practiced plays, got drunk, smoked on the rooftop--facade super different. my special rooftop gone. the trees were taller. the streetlights still had the same...glow...that reminded me of so many nights coming home...

the church seems emptier on sundays--it's like there's a gap somewhere, like all the parents said to a particular age group, "get out of here. find your life out there."

and then i had coffee with the now super-small foxy ladies: manila chapter, drinks with efferets...and it was all good. people come and go; you get around yourself, but you'll always carry home inside you.

not for the first time i look back on all those years
not for the last time names will ring in my ears